March 26, 2010

6. are you kidding me?

Posted in drivel at 11:58 am by M

Remember my gorgeous friend, the one with the unexpected pregnancy announcement that filled me with joy?

She had her NT scan on Monday – where they discovered identical twins.

Cue: freakout.  (mine, not hers)

I am so terrified for her.  I’m all jumbled and not sure of what to say, I want to urge her to have regular scans, to have her cervix checked, to get a private ob to take care of them all.  She’s decided to use the public system – and did I say I’m freaking out?

That this would happen to her, my totally best friend ever – boggles my mind.  There may be a tiny part of me that feels hard done by (again, as usual) as in ‘she can do it and I couldn’t – twice’,   but the majority of me is terrified.

My question for you is:  do I say something or shut up?  As in, should I suggest the regular scans, etc?  My inclination is to shut up, I really don’t want to be the Voice of Doom, a constant reminder of what can (and did) go so very wrong…

I have my first appointment with a psychologist next month – 15th April.  I’ve spoken to her on the phone and in the few minutes we chatted she sounded fabulous.  My symptoms haven’t lessened, but I feel much better that I know I have a plan in place.

I called my boss on Tuesday morning and told her I’m resigning.  She promised to call me by Thursday, and as it’s now Friday evening and I haven’t heard I’m pretty fucking pissed.  The anxiety this job is giving me is through the roof – and the fact that I’ve now been ignored is insulting.

I’m so glad I’ve made this decision.

I’m heading to WA on Wednesday with Baby Boy to spend Easter with my family.  I can’t wait!  I’m so excited to be around ‘my’ people, my family and friends, my home town.  I’m not looking forward to travelling on my own with an 11 kilo baby – we’ve got a 2.5 hour stopover in Melbourne on the way, I’ve bought one of those little fold up travel strollers that I can take on board with me so we can go for a walk around, but as we fly out at 6am I’m guessing that I’m going to have a pretty tired, cranky baby on my hands.  Oh well, I’m sure that as long as I am armed with LOTS of food, he’ll be happy.

While I’m away A is going to paint the lounge room, chip out the hearth, wire in the speakers, and get the carpet laid.  Can I tell you just how happy I am that I won’t be here for this?  I just do not cope with his home handyman-ness, he creates giant freaking messes everywhere and it does my head in.  I am SO HAPPY that our living area will be complete, 2 and a half years we’ve been living here and A has refused to pay the money to get contractors to do all the work, so the blue swirly carpet has been burning my eyes all this time…

Back from WA on April 10, I may blog whilst I’m away – if not have a safe and Happy Easter, and much love to all!



  1. Brenda said,

    Firstly I hope you have a wonderful time away. I dont blame you for not wanting to be there for the reno. I would want to be on the other side of the country as well! lol

    Great to hear the new ‘head dr’ sounds nice and having a plan is making you feel a little more at ease. I HAVE to have a plan for everything or I just dont cope.

    As for your friend, well I can totally understand your worry. My biggest fear is being told im having identical twins. Just thinking about it puts me into panic. We so know far to much! I dont think there is anything wrong with suggesting she gets extra u/s. Hell I made them give me one a week and was offered 2 a week if my head needed it. I didnt go for the 2 a week but i think if i was carrying twins I would be taking my Ob up on the offer. Problem is, going public shes probably not going to get much extra special care. I would guess that for a twin pg they do a little more than a single but I dont think you can go in to a public hospital and give them a list of must do’s. Im not sure what the public system is like in T but I know here its hard enough getting them to do their job in the most basic way let alone getting anything extra.

    Im not a private snob. Hell Im happy for the public system to fix my leg if its broken. I figure I can live without it if they cut it off by mistake but I will NEVER let them touch a pg/baby/child of mine EVER again!

    Have a safe and wonderful trip!


  2. jesspond said,

    I hope talking to a professional will help! GL!

    If I were you, I’d probably say something, just in passing, like, “I’ve been there, if I were you I’d have extra scans/get a private ob/etc” but then nothing much more. That way you’ve not NOT said it, and you’re also not the Voice of Doom. Scary.

    Have a great Easter and a safe trip! Enjoy yourself! 🙂

  3. Sharon said,

    I’ll be totally honest and I know what others have said but I wouldn’t say anything to your Bestie. Every pg is different and you don’t want to freak her out or over step the mark….unless this isn’t her first pg. I know you want to protect her but she needs to trust her OBS first without second guessing what others say. I really hope that doesn’t sound harsh.
    I’ve gone public for everything, OBS, hospital stay for 7 weeks, and when my son was born at 25w 153 days in NICU including meds etc was all public too.

    Anyway have a great easter…safe trip.

  4. That sounds so tough. I’d probably ask her what scans she’s having and how she’s feeling and play it by ear. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with talking about your concerns are for her, but some people can’t handle talking about the scary stuff.

    I hope you’re having a great time with your family and have a happy Easter. It sounds like between the new psych and the resignation, you have a lot more happiness coming your way. I really hope things get better and better for you.

  5. Bea said,

    Happy Easter!

    If you’re still home…

    Good luck with the journey. I am sure you’ll make it ok.

    As for your friend – I would also be inclined to say something gently. Not to freak her out, but just for her consideration. The public system can be very good – not so concerned about that, so long as she’s comfortable with her doctor – but I would be inclined to, say, ask what kind of extra care she’s getting to make sure her body is standing up to the strain of a bigger-than-normal pregnancy, and encourage her to discuss certain issues (checking cervix etc) with her doctor.


  6. silene said,

    I am so glad to hear that you are getting away for a bit and that you have found a dr to talk to. Also walking away from that job must feel like such a relief.

    As for your friend, she may remember your experiences quite well (assuming that she knew you then). I think Bea has got it right – a general discussion of what extra care the public system provides for a twin pregnancy will raise some of the issues you want to mention in a neutral, non-scary way. And I expect that the new doc will be able to help you contain your freak-outs concerning your friend.

    Enjoy your “vacation” (not so sure we moms get those in the true sense of the word until the kids are grown…)

  7. Jennifer said,

    You may go through your own things during this time with the pg girlfriend.
    Be sure to tell the therapist.

    So happy for you!

  8. Hey you, it’s been awhile. How are things?

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