June 12, 2010

7. sheepish return

Posted in drivel at 10:48 am by M

Once again a gentle nudge was needed to bring me back to you! (Thanks Sass!)  Yet again, I apologise.  I lurk, I don’t comment.  I observe.   I stay up to date.  I’m just not ready to participate yet.

A lot has happened since last we spoke;
B and I headed to WA for Easter and had a great time.  Another trip to WA was needed just a few short weeks later when my grandmother passed away at the age of 90.  The 3 of us made the trek and stayed for 4 days, it was so bittersweet – a celebration of a life well-lived, grieving for my last living grandparent.  I’m so very grateful that B and I had spent time with her at Easter.

Of course, there has been ensuing drama.  The will, blah blah blah – and I’m well out of it.  Thankfully, in this instance, I live on the other side of the country.  Money really does bring out the worst in people, doesn’t it?

Therapy is hard.  Seriously hard.  The PTSD has meant we have to revisit a lot of painful, intense stuff that I’d long ago buried.  I’m exhausted emotionally.  I’m not looking after myself physically – all this has to change.  I owe it to myself, I owe it to my son.  Small steps…

B is, as usual, amazing.  A bright, happy baby that just shines.  In 2 short weeks he will be 1 year old.  1!!  I still cannot believe he is mine.  A bout of bronchitis had him unwell for a couple of weeks, triggering all sorts of anxiety in me, but he’s on the other side of it now and back to his normal self.

Thursday was my last day of work.  Yay me!  Seriously, that job has sucked my soul dry and done my freaking head in.  I had to get out and I’m so glad it’s all over.  I’m now set up as an independent contractor and have organised a few jobs here and there to tide me over.  I need my life back and I’m well on my way!!!

So, tell me your news?



  1. VA Blondie said,

    Glad things are going better for you. It must be such a relief to feel a little light. You are working through everything, so that is a good thing. Small steps is right.

    Our little one has been sick, and so have I. It is no fun. Baby has also had his first ear infection. I think we caught it early because he is tolerating it pretty well. He is on an antibiotic, so we are hopeful it will clear up soon.

  2. Kymberli said,

    I’ve missed you in blogland, but have been sorta keeping up in other places. 😉 Though on an emotionally rough road, it seems like everything is headed in the right directly. Slowly but surely is always the way to go. Except when it comes to weight loss – I’d be quite happy if that came quick, fast, and in a hurry. 🙂

    As for me, There’s a possibility that I might be matched again. The IPs and I have definite chemistry,and now I have to be approved by the RE. My records are being sent for review to the RE and if I make it through that hurdle, then I’ll be on my way again. I’m happy about the possibility, of course, but there will always be a bittersweet note to it because…well, y’know.

    Otherwise, I’m enjoying summer with the family and loving being out of work for now!

  3. JessPond said,

    Sounds as if things are going. I’m sorry that therapy is so hard, but in a way it’s probably encouraging that it’s hard…means you’re sorting things out!!

    So happy for you and your little man. ONE…it IS hard to believe!!

    I’ve missed your blog, but been glad to keep up in other areas, like Kym said.

  4. Bea said,

    I have seen you whizz past on Facebook a couple of times, but obviously missed all the important stuff, like the death of your Grandmother. I’m so sorry – and I’m extra sorry there has been bickering about the will. I’m glad you’re out of it.

    Glad you’re finished work!

    Glad you’re still doing the therapy. Bound to be hard. Hard can be good, if it’s the right sort of hard.

    Happy 1st birthday, LO! Doesn’t time fly?

    My news? We recently thought of coming down your way, but we are not going to. Does that count as news? We had an appointment with the FS to talk about using some frozen embryos later this year. That is about it.


  5. LutC said,

    I’m glad you cross-posted, because either my feed reader ate your blog feed or I forgot to subscribe. 😦 I had been wondering how you were to (but too self-absorbed to fire of an e-mail to ask).

    I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmom. Seeing the family bicker afterwards can’t be a pretty sight.

    Therapy is supposed to be hard I gather. I hope you feel it’s moving forward.

    B is almost one already?! What’s his favourite game for the moment?

    Good for you for getting out of that job you loathed. Good luck with the independent contracting!

    My news? Another attempt to give our girl a sibling failed. I’m blue about that, though I’m still over the moon about having Linnea to begin with. She’s a lively little girl, and I have to fight my urge to be overprotective. The blues are weighing on my marriage, though so is DH’s latest computer game addiction.

  6. g said,

    I am so sorry for the loss of your GM.

    I have no news, mostly on accounts of my own stinking job 🙂


  7. Jennifer said,

    xox ~ positive changes for you~ whooo!

  8. T said,

    Me? I’ve lost my mind, not a brain cell left, but other than that things are good with the hardest job on earth!

    I’m sorry about your gmother – so glad that you and B had time with her, so sad isn’t it? I really don’t like not having my grandmother and she died in 1983, boo!

    I hope things are going better for you lovey – oh and yes, therapy sucks but is very good at the other end. Out of chaos…

  9. T said,

    btw – the “chaos” is MINE- I wasn’t saying you were/are in chaos – it was me that was chaos. oy oy oy!

  10. Becci said,

    It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged, but I just stopped by and saw that you had a son!! I am so happy to see that after all you’ve been through. Take care!

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