April 3, 2011

I have no idea what number this post is…

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:16 pm by M

I’m typing this on my iPhone as we fly to my home state for a couple of weeks break. Well, not break as such because my sister & her hubby are on a 5 week cruise & my mother is looking after her 3 & 5 year old children so I’m taking over for a couple of weeks, but a break nonetheless.
I’m still processing the whole ‘no more kids for us’ situation; & I hate it. But there’s just nothing we can do to change it. I really hate that the decision was taken out of our hands, that we didn’t sit down & have a conversation & decide that we didn’t want more children. It is what it is & I understand that, I just hate it. I had such hope.
But my true hope & love is currently pulling the window shades up & down, & that’s what gives me perspective.

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6 Comments »

  1. SassyCupcakes said,

    Enjoy your visit home. I’m so sorry you’ve had the choice taken from you. Perspective or not I think there’s a lot to grieve there in terms of it really being the end of a possibility. Like so many things it’s terribly unfair. I can’t remember if I’ve asked before, but do you think you would look at adoption again? I know it’s not at all the same and comes with so many more complications and issues. It really sucks you can’t have the family you wanted. *hug*

  2. JessPond said,

    I’m sorry that your decision wasn’t yours. I think it’s 100% ok to feel that way even if you DO have B.

    Hope your trip home is enjoyable! Have fun? Good luck?! Both! 🙂

  3. Brenda said,

    Firstly, where have you been?!! Maybe that should be – where have I been???

    You went walk about so long ago (and I have not posted in ages myself) that I stopped checkinig in.
    Im SO sorry that your last cycle was a neg. Its a huge shit and nothing anyone says will make it any better for you.

    Anyway, I just wanted to sen you a big hug!!! Its late I know, but hell, we both know what its like when everyone leaves and your left to sit on your own. So maybe you need my hug about now. 🙂
    xxx

  4. Kristin Call said,

    Hello! I know you don’t know me, but we’ve got something in common. I got your blog address off the Stirrup Queen’s blogroll and was wondering if you wouldn’t mind helping me help a couple who is trying to add a little one to their family. We’re holding a silent auction for them this weekend (Friday and Saturday) on goteamwitt.blogspot.com and need help getting the word out! We would love it if you would spread the word via social media or here on your blog. Additionally, we are always looking for more donations to auction off, so if you or someone you know might be interested in making a donation, all the information is under the donate tab. If you have any questions or would be willing to post a pre-written blog post about the auction and the sponsored couple, please contact Kristin at goteamwitt@gmail.com Thanks in advance for taking the time to consider this!

  5. edenland said,

    Hello, you beautiful woman. I’m so very sorry, that the pee stick was fucking white. I like the image of your one true sweetie, pulling the blinds up and down. “Mum – here’s the Light. And then the Dark. Light. Dark. Light.” Rinse and repeat … forever.

    Wishing you love and peace and a gentle breeze. Yours was the first blog I ever found, on the whole entire internet. I followed every detail of your journey to the blind-puller. I hold you in my heart, dearly.

    XOXOX

  6. Cathy said,

    Doing OK?


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